Online Couples Therapy in California
Many couples don't come to therapy because they've stopped caring. They come because they keep having the same argument, or the same silence, and nothing seems to change. If that sounds familiar, you're not alone, and it doesn't mean your relationship is beyond repair.
How early attachments shape current relationships
The way we learned to connect with the people closest to us as children often shows up in our adult relationships. Some people move toward their partner when stressed, some pull away, and some do both. When you understand where your own patterns come from, and where your partner's come from, the conflict often looks different. It becomes less about who is right and more about what each of you needs.
Getting unstuck from patterns that don't work
Most couples fall into a cycle: one partner pushes or criticizes, the other withdraws or shuts down, and both end up feeling alone. Each person is trying to protect the relationship in the way they know how, but the pattern itself becomes the problem. In therapy, we slow the cycle down, name it together, and practice new ways of responding to each other.
How I can help
I use Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT), an approach designed specifically for couple work. It focuses on the emotions and attachment needs underneath the arguments, so you can understand each other and respond with more clarity and care. My approach is built around accepting emotions as part of us, not just trying to control them.
I offer couples therapy in Mandarin or English, so you can express yourself in the language that feels most natural. With 15 years of experience as a therapist, I work with couples across California, entirely online.
What to expect
- Secure video sessions from wherever you're comfortable
- A free 15-minute consultation to see if we're a good fit
- Sliding-scale options available
Frequently asked questions
How do I know if my partner and I need couples therapy?
Common signs include repeating the same fight without resolution, feeling distant or disconnected, avoiding difficult topics, losing trust, or feeling like you're living as roommates. You don't need to be in crisis to come. Many couples find it helpful to start earlier.
What if my partner doesn't want to do couples therapy?
This is very common. Some partners worry they'll be blamed or aren't sure what therapy involves. A free consultation can be a low-pressure first step. You can also begin individual therapy to better understand your own patterns in the relationship, and your partner may feel more open to joining later.
What are some possible outcomes of couples therapy?
Every couple's experience is different, and I can't promise a specific result. Many couples report understanding each other's needs better, communicating more calmly, and feeling more connected. For some, therapy also brings clarity about difficult decisions.
Do you offer couples therapy in Mandarin?
Yes. Sessions are available in Mandarin, English, or a mix of both.
If you're also navigating challenges as parents, see my parenting support page. Anxiety can affect relationships too; see anxiety therapy. Learn more about Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT).